Song of the Magdalene by Donna Jo Napoli

Author:Donna Jo Napoli
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon Pulse

CHAPTER NINE

“You could at least have talked to her.”

“It’s better that she thinks I’m an idiot.”

“You always say things are better your way!” I got on my knees and faced Abraham head-on. I wanted to cry to him the sorrow in my heart. For he was my friend, a comfort to me. I wanted to rail and rave at him. For he was my enemy, the origin of my pain. But I hadn’t the courage to do either. I spoke only the mentionable. “You always want secrets. I’m so sick of secrets I could scream. Judith is good. We can trust her. I’m going to tell her everything.”

“Do you know what they’d think — how they’d feel — if they knew I was locked inside this body?” Abraham’s voice was full of foreboding.

“If they knew you were in there, they’d talk to you. It’s like Father said to Jacob — some of us are fortunate and others of us aren’t. They know that in their hearts. If you would only talk to them, they’d realize you were just like them.”

“That’s exactly it, Miriam. As long as I’m an idiot, they can bear to have me around. They can tell themselves they are generous of heart and ignore me. But if they know I can see things and understand them, if they know I’m like them inside, it’s too much. It’s too horrible. They fear it could happen to them. Who I am, Miriam, who you are — what has happened to us, it could happen to anyone.” Abraham’s voice caught. “They won’t allow themselves to think that way. They’ll find a reason, for random misfortune terrifies. If they know I’m in here, they’ll say I’m evil. They’ll say it’s not me who speaks, but the evil within. They’ll fear even more that whatever has possession of my body can leap out and take possession of theirs. My only hope is that they do not see me as a person. Then they will not need to banish me.”

I shook my head. “You can’t be right. If you spoke to them as you speak to me, they would hear. People can’t be so stupid.”

“You were stupid, Miriam. You thought your fits came from demons. You’ve had three fits now. That would mean three demons live inside you. But you know in your heart you are pure.”

My chest went cold. Did I know in my heart I was pure? I was not even being honest with Abraham now. I was hiding my feelings, pretending I’d never declared my love for him. Was that pure? But this was not a moment to argue the point. I knew in my heart that Abraham was pure. I knew that as well as I knew the Creator was pure. “You taught me who you are, Abraham. You can teach them.”

“They won’t learn.”

“How can you say that! How can you know?”

“Because I saw it happen.”

“What?” I shook my head in confusion. “What did you see?”

Abraham hesitated. “I was in Safed.

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